While you might have decided that you want to move forward and heal your past emotional wounds, you might also be hesitant, even resistant to actually going through the process. It’s not that you don’t want to heal, you just don’t want to feel the pain and relive the stories again. In this article I’m going to share ways that you can overcome resistance to healing so you can enjoy your life and really thrive.
Resistance is the response to a projection created in your mind that the thing you are about to do will be so painful you might not get over it. Think about it- if your car were about to go over a cliff you would put on the brakes right? Or maybe you would jump out of the car but either way you would do everything you could to stop yourself from going over the edge.
Resistance can also look like a kid throwing a tantrum because they don’t want to take a nap even though it will make them feel better later. The key to overcome resistance to healing is to know the difference between real danger and perceived danger. To the mind both feel the same. But with a bird’s eye view you could see the difference.
When you pull back to look at resistance from a distance something else interesting becomes apparent. Your mind has not only created resistance in an effort to keep you from healing it also judges you for feeling it! Double whammy!
When the mind goes to such lengths to cover something up you need to examine it closer to find the lies.
The three biggest lies your mind tells you about resistance
- This is only happening to you. I know it seems like everyone else has their whole life together and you are the only f*up but the truth is that everyone feels resistance. You are never alone in this. Anyone who has ever had to heal trauma felt a struggle inside, a push and pull between the desire to feel well and the desire to stay small and just manage their symptoms. We all experience this, so let your armor soften a bit as you realize so many others have stood where you now stand.
“When you feel alone agains the storm, know that Heaven is near to help you stand strong and prevail.”Unknown
- You believe that feeling resistance makes you weak. How many time have you berated yourself for not being perfect, for not having everything in life figured out by now? This is the lie your mind tells you to get you to give up. Resistance is simply and energy and it’s okay if you feel it right now. There is nothing to be embarrassed about and there is nothing wrong with you.
“Here’s the mistake we make when we listen to the voice of self-loathing:Steven Pressfield
We misperceive a force that is universal and impersonal and instead see it as individual and personal.”
3. You’ve been told that resistance is something you must fight, that it is an enemy to be conquered. The more you fight, the stronger it gets.
“Most people do not understand their true power lies in releasing resistance – which is the only obstacle to their true power.”Abraham-Hicks
How to overcome resistance to healing.
I’ve done lots of healing work myself and yes I’ve felt resistance to the process at times. Here are four practices that I have found helpful.
- Make a conscious choice to take one small action toward healing. It doesn’t really even matter what the action is. An example might be to make an appointment with a therapist or coach. Another example would be to donate an item that reminds you of something painful. Making a choice puts you back in control of your life. You are a co-creator after all.
“Trauma creates change you don’t choose. Healing is about creating change you do choose.”Michelle Rosenthal
- Change up your feelings and mood by doing energy work. If you’re familiar with practices like kundalini, you could perform an exercise or kriya to move stagnant energy through your body and aura. You could also move energy by dancing. I like to wave my arms about slowly (I’m sure this looks silly but who cares) and feeling into the air as I push it and pull it. Like Tai chi. That’s another form of energy work. The goal is to feel into your body and mind, to create space and emptiness for intuition, peace, and love to flow.
“The smooth, balanced flow of chi, your life-force energy, is the single most important determinant to your health, vitality, and happiness..”Bruce Frantzis
- Feel your feelings. There is such a stigma around feeling our feelings that most people avoid it at all costs. We have denied ourselves connection to our feminine side and this is killing our ability to relate and have compassion for others. No wonder we all feel so alone.
I invite you to schedule in some time for feeling the pain of your past. Invite the pain to sit with you without and just be. Here’s where having the bird’s eye view comes in handy because if you were to be above looking down on yourself you would see that having a good cry or giving yourself a few moments of feeling angry does not actually put you at risk of danger. The pain wants to be felt and witnessed so that it can move on, like a ghost who’s hanging around and doesn’t know that it’s dead and can go to Heaven.
“Sitting with the pain is uncomfortable. Unlearning an entire lifetime of conditioning is challenging – but you know what’s really scary? Repeating the patterns you picked up in childhood when you have the power to co-create your own reality.”Kristina Licare
- Celebrate the tiniest things. If you made a decision today, if you moved some energy or felt your feelings, I want you to celebrate it like you won a million dollars! Tell people! Share your good news. This will reinforce positive beliefs about healing and will actually help you heal much faster. You are amazing. Don’t forget that!
“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.”Oprah
I understand that healing is a deeply personal thing. It can feel intimidating and scary. With the right tools and preparedness you can feel safe. It takes some patience and practice. Healing is a process. You can’t get it wrong. If you would like support in doing this, please have a look at ways you can work with me.