Change Your Perspective Change Your Relationship
𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙠 𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨, 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙠 𝙖𝙩 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚. ~ 𝙒𝙖𝙮𝙣𝙚 𝘿𝙮𝙚𝙧
What do you see? Perspective is everything.
Let’s take relationships for example.
When you’re at odds with the person you’re in a relationship with, because of a fight or some other miscommunication, it can be difficult to see the love between you and it may even feel as though the love is gone.
You believe the love is missing because you’re seeing the situation from the perspective of the mind and ego which views everything in the world as separate.
Inevitably what happens is that you BOTH believe you are right and want the other person to change their point of view (perspective) and thus change their behavior (the way they relate to you) so you can be happy and feel loved.
Unfortunately no amount of changing another person will create more happiness in you or in your relationship.
I get it, because when you experience conflict or dissonance with another person it doesn’t feel good, and your mind is looking for ways to make the pain or discomfort stop…
so it looks outside of you for the cause. You see this person standing in front of you, separate from you, causing your pain. To the mind this can only mean that someone is right and someone is wrong. Someone has to win and someone has to lose.
And the mind (when I say mind think ego) hates to lose and soon you find yourself in a constant battle with your partner for the satisfaction and happiness of being right.
What you can’t see from this perspective is that you are in a battle with yourself. On the one hand you want the love to flow between you but on the other hand your mind is looking for evidence that you are not worthy of having deep love and intimacy with another. (And to be clear, your partner may be doing the same thing.)
When you “see” yourself as not worthy of the care and respect from another, the world you see around you seems to treat you without care and respect. It seems so unfair, right?
It’s really just a perception in your mind- it’s self protection. Because for whatever reason, maybe you experienced an emotionally traumatic event with a parent or someone you loved, you now don’t view conflict as safe within the context of a relationship.
Instead it feels like the end of the world.
So what if you shifted that? How would you do it?
Would you think better thoughts?
Well, yes, you could try that but your mind is going to fight pretty hard to keep its perspective that this is the end.
The key to ending the painful pattern of experiencing conflict as a lack of love is to shift your perspective from seeing the separation between you and your partner to feeling the connection that is always present underneath.
It requires an undoing of all the lies your mind has created and told you for your entire life. No, thoughts won’t get you there. Feeling your feelings will.
When you feel your feelings without adding thoughts or judgments to them, you begin to understand the moment experientially, from the heart space and when you connect to the present moment, everything that isn’t true (your separation, your unworthiness) dissolves and only love exists.
— peace sets in
— confidence rises
— you open yourself to intimacy
— you have the power to settle conflict with ease and grace
One of the best ways to facilitate this shift is to practice with a supportive individual who can gently guide you through specific scenarios in your life as you learn to open your heart and feel your feelings, because your mind will be telling you to stop and go back to life the way it was before (conflict and pain, remember?)
What I just described is how I help creative, sensitive love seeking souls like you in my 8 week 1:1 program. I guide you to experience the world through the lens of connection, so you can heal your relationship with yourself and others. I’ll take you through an exploration of those possible emotional wounds I mentioned earlier to see when and why your mind may have started telling you stories that you’re not worthy. We will look at your present relationship situation to see where your perspective of unworthiness is currently creating separation and I’ll give you some exercises to help balance and strengthen your energy and sense of self. You’ll learn how to amplify your energy and create peace and presence within you (it’s already there) so that painful relationship troubles become a thing of the past.
Interested in changing your perspective so you can see and feel the love that is here for you? DM me to see if this program is a fit for you. All you have to do is answer a few simple questions (and I’ll answer yours). If we’re feeling the vibes we can get started as early as next week.